WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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