My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
