For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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