My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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