the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
