He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
