someone threw a dead crab at me
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
