At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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