Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
