At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
