We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize