Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize