Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I checked into jail on foursquare
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
