before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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