I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
