I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
it glows. i had to have it.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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