AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
