Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
