don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
