Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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