Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
