would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i came on her dog
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize