i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
