You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
