I'm lost and stupid without you.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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