Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
