Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
