You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
