toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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