He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
