I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
