Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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