it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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