Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
