If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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