What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
