Screwed.edu
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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