My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize