WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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