a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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