You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
