it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
