I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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