You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
