she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
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