I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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