We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
