Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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