god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Randomize
