Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
