I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
