I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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