I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize