her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
