miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You may now shotgun with the bride
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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