is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
