You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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