I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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