She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
