she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
