we have pet lesbian snakes
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
